Another break

Well, it has been another few months since my last post. Tempus fugit!

In the time since I last posted, my immigration attorney managed to mess up rather severely and put the kaibosh on my once in a lifetime trip to Italy (they threw a freakin' parade for our group, had movie stars there, and the trip was covered by the New York Times!). I barely got everything settled with that in time to go on my trip to the Caribbean with rudder, and here I am now back from our wonderful trip.

My dog and I had a glorious time aboard the Royal Caribbean vessel Freedom of the Seas. I have to admit that I am not really a huge fan of the Caribbean -- I don't like basking in the sun endlessly, I don't like the beach much, the islands are not loci of culture nor do they really have histories that are all that interesting and in fact are often fairly much the same. Yet, this trip was fantastic, mostly because of rudder. To see him discovering things for the first time, to see him smile and really enjoy everything is amazing. To have him meet my family, and for us to really spend time together for a week as just vanilla lovers (even if only when we were out of the sight of my relatives) was rewarding on its own. The trip was definitely one where the journey was far more interesting than the destinations.

And now its Christmas time here, and I can say that I am more than a little sad. This has been a tough Christmas season. Business has been horrible, thanks to the giant downswing in home sales, and there is a great deal of uncertainty n the future. Rudder is not here of course, and that makes it worse, even though we talk more than a few times a day. With the tight time schedules, Christmas becomes more and more of a chore and less and less rewarding. Certainly the fact that I spend plenty of time obsessing over what to get people, or making something for people that I think that they will enjoy, and then receiving a thoughtless gift, or a trinket in exchange does not add to the "joy" of the season (there is a certain deflation that occurs when you give someone a gift in advance that shows thought, and a certain amount of expense, and they return the favor with something that is a tenth of the value and shows minimal thought).

On top of that, there is this anxiety that comes with not being ready for Christmas as well. None of the cards I would normally send have gone out yet. I am anxious to get the ones I love something that they will truly like, and yet torn by the fact that the upcoming year will be really tough financially just because business is so bad.

I am still very much hoping to find the golden lining in this year's Christmas, but the hours tick by and it seems less and less likely. At least, I still have my pup!

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A music video for this post:


Queen, David Bowie, Under Pressure